So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize