but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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