i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
