We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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