you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
