Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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