There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
