I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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