um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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