how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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