i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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