ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize