Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
