Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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