I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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