Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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