i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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