these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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