see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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