Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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