She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
