If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
