butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
