they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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