peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize