My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
