yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize