I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
