About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
