adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
