some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
