Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We need a shit load of segways right now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
