just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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