how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dick very happy bro
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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