she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
