I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
