she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize