This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
