2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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