we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
