wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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