I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
