I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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