just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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