kristin has been a bad kristin
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
