I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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