Sponge bath it is.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
