remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
