I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
