I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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