I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
