she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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