HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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