That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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