I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize