i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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