ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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