Moan for me like Helen Keller
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize