ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
