And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
