My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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