Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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